Our Website

My wonderful brother made us a website so we can share all of our pictures and pregnancy tales with our friends and family. Please visit us at www.thekennedytwins.com. If you are interested in a website for your family, you can email John (my brother) at wingchun@wingchunonline.com.

Ultrasounds

I wish I could have an ultrasound every week. I know they do them weekly in the last month or so, but it sure would be reassuring if we could start now. My old ultrasound person at the fertility clinic said that I might begin to feel the babies at 16 weeks since there are two of them, but I'm not sure if I'm feeling anything. Between the nausea and the gas I think that's all I've been feeling. I've spent a lot of time attempting to differentiate where the feelings are coming from, my stomach or my uterus. Oh well, I'm just going to have to be patient and hang in there until the 26th.

I can't wait to find out who these little people are going to be...what will their favorite color be? Will they love cheesecake as much as Jason and I do (although right now my guess is no)? Will they enjoy sports, art, music, reading????????? What will make them cry, laugh and smile? I want to say that I can't wait to meet them, but I know the longer they stay put the better. February will come soon enough. Remind me that I said that when I'm throwing up 7 times a day :)

17 weeks

and counting. I can't believe it. Apparently the dynamic duo don't like solid foods. Are these really my kids???????????? Who doesn't like food? First it was sweets.... now it's all solids. I'm a little over soup and popsicles. The babies don't like jello so that went the way of solids. Basically I haven't kept down solids since last Sunday (a week from today). I am impatiently waiting for my ultrasound on the 26th so we can find out how well they're doing. I'm so worried about my lack of nutrition/their lack of nutrition. Something bit me today and I freaked thinking it would poison the babies. I took Benadryl hoping that all of a sudden it would have magical powers that will erridicate the poison out of my system. Oy vey.

Things no one tells you about being pregnant...

Morning sickness can last all day, and past the first trimester. Morning sickness feels like the stomach flu on a good day and food poisioning on a bad day. Throwing up does not always make you feel better. Nose bleeds are common during pregnancy, as are headaches. You may lose control of your bladder long before you "get big," i.e... I pee when I sneeze. I pee when I throw up. I pee when I cough. Sleep can be difficult long before you "get big." The muscles that are between your upper thigh and your pelvic area stretch to accomodate your uterus, which can feel like cramping, which can then scare the daylights out of you. You may lose your taste for your favorite foods. I LOVE sweets (normally). Not only do I not want to eat them, it's the first thing that I throw up. Aparently the kids will not be inheriting mommy's sweet tooth. You will look forward to your ultrasounds like it's Christmas. There is NOTHING like seeing your little one all snuggled up in your tummy (ok uterus, tummy sounds cuter), growing like a weed.

We did it!

I've been so worried about jinxing anything that I've been reluctant to share the wonderful news. We have been doubally blessed and are expecting twins in late February (22nd actually). Everything seemed to be "right" about this time. Our transfer went very smoothly. The "grade" of our embryos were almost as perfect as you can get. I didn't have the crazy bladder agony that I had immediately following our first transfer. About 2 nights after the transfer I noticed that I was having very vivid dreams. Crystal clear. That was my first sign. Then we got our first test results. The numbers were great. Same for our second and third tests. The clinic said they couldn't be sure about multiples at that time, but the numbers indicated it may be a possiblity. Then we went for our first ultrasound.

Jason was there, crossing his fingers for one baby. "One and done," he kept saying. Then she told us she saw two babies. I looked over my shoulder, convinced she was talking to someone else. "Two and through" I said to my very flustered husband. Needless to say, we were on cloud nine. About a week after the ultrasound I began feeling very tired. I'm not a big napper because when I nap I can't sleep at night. I literally came home from work and slept for 3 hours and then went to bed by 10 and slept soundly through the night. I was exhausted. Then around the end of June the "morning sickness" hit. What no one tells you is that "morning sickness" can last all day. And last all day, almost everyday it has since then. I'm taking Zofran and Phrenergren and sometimes it seems to help, and sometimes nothing. It's like a cross between having the flu (on a good day) and having food poisioning. I've never experienced anything like it. I'm wearing the seaband's on my wrists, drinking/eating ginger, toast, blah, blah, blah..... I've discovered, when I'm sick, I'm sick and that's just all there is to it. At 11 weeks we had our Neuchal test...basically they measure the babies neck/s and take my blood and then figure out the chances of the babies having some abnormality. Mostly it tests for trisomy & down syndrome. The test came back "normal," which was great news. The test isn't 100%, but close. Next we wait for 20 weeks for an anamolies test. I think it's another ultrasound, but don't have the details. Fairly non-invasive from what I understand. So, I'm crossing my fingers that this morning sickness is almost over. I'm 14 weeks on Sunday. Apparently you're not officially into your 2nd trimester until you've finished your 13th week, so maybe a miracle will happen and I'll wake up feeling human tomorrow. The picture is from a great website called http://www.babycenter.com/. It's better than any of the 3 books I bought. We didn't get pictures from our last ultrasound so these will have to do. Any "morning sickness" relief suggestions are welcome.

June 6th

Is the day of our transfer. So far everything has been on track, no cysts, no skewed numbers... everything as it should be. I'm praying for strong embryos. They looked great pre-freeze, but you never know how they are going to thaw and for some unknown reason, the strongest usually don't survive the thaw. (FYI...the strongest sperm don't usually survive thawing either). I get my new meds schedule tomorrow. I'll probably start the progesterone this weekend and dial down the estrace, look forward to stoping the lupron (YAY!)and then....prepare for embryos! Right now I'm feeling very at peace with things. For a while I was a complete mess. Very doubtful, yet forging ahead. It was as if my body and mind were ready to quit but my heart wouldn't and won't let go of the dream. So, I'm starting to study the Kabbalah and trying to zen out before the 6th. I am a very blessed woman and I am very hopeful that it's my time to share my wonderful world with a child.

Falling Apart

I am a complete mess and I don't even care. I finally decided to check out some fertility blogs. At first I found it depressing, but after reading through a few I felt a connection. People writing the things I'm thinking. For a minute I didn't feel alone. Basically I'm doing this all by myself. Yes, my husband is contributing financially, but he has no clue as to what I am mentally, physically and emotionally going through. I've been on the verge of tears all day and I'm tired of holding them back. We had dinner with Jason's parents tonight. They are great, but his dad starting talking about how they have been praying for us to get pregnant and I almost lost it. Jason snapped at me before dinner and I almost lost it. Driving home I almost lost it. I'm tired of trying to hold it together. I'm tired of trying to put on a happy face. I'm tired of negative pregnancy tests, failed IVF's and feeling alone.