How much can a marriage withstand?????

In our very short marriage (3 1/2 years), my husband and I have jumped quite a few hurdles... Alcoholism, bankruptcy, back surgery, 2 cancer scares, living apart, infertility and more. Fortunately nothing life threatening, but certainly life changing, and very taxing on our marriage. I'm flat out tired, and so is Jason. We've been to counseling and it's almost impossible to do living apart. How do you know when it's time to throw in the towel? There's not a lack of love or desire to remain married (at least not on my end, it wouldn't be fair for me to speak for him), but I do often question if love is enough. I know that the hardest work reaps the biggest rewards, but I had no idea it would be this hard. Did I mention I'm tired? At this point I'm not sure where to draw strength from, but boy do I need it.

What's next?????????????

Well i've spent the past week trying to figure out what's next. My fertility doctor is on spring break...figures....so I feel like I've been treading water. I can't get in to see her until the 3rd. I've decided to incorporate an accupuncturist into this crazy mix. I just need to find a good one. Our old IVF nurse recommended one and I'm going to try to get in to see him this week. I'm also going to try to see my gynocologist. Maybe she'll have some idea of what to try next. I have no idea if we'll be able to try embryo adoption again, which leaves sperm donors and surrogates. That's it. Two options. A possible lousy 2 options left (unless we can try the embryo adoption again)....so maybe 3 lousy options. Unless of course one of these options produces a baby, then it will be a wonderful option. I was at Old Navy over the weekend and as I was walking toward the store there was a woman screaming at her child. She was trying to put the kid (she looked littleish) in a car seat and the woman was just screaming. And her child was crying. And then I burst into tears, walked back to my car, drove home and got back into bed. It was all I could do not to yell at the woman, but I knew if I started I probably wouldn't stop. I don't know if/when this gets easier. It dawned on me yesterday that I'm 41. For some reason I thought I was still 40....I was wrong. How old do I have to get before I admit that I'm old enough to be someone's grandmother and that it would be unfair to have a child??????????