How is it

That I'm about to turn 41 and I feel like I just got out of college? Where did 20 years go? I just started my hormone shots for IVF and as much as I want a child and to experience motherhood(there's nothing I can think of that I want more), there is part of me that think's "I'm too young to be a mom. How can I be someone's mom?" It seems like such a big job. Can I even do it? How badly will I screw up my kid? What happened to my 20's and 30's? I was watching TV the other night and there was a woman who was about to celebrate her 40th birthday. I sat there and thought...."I'm older than her. Do I look older than her?" There are so many aspects of my life that didn't turn out the way I had planned. Not that I'm complaining about my life, because I feel very blessed and if I had followed the path I thought I should follow who knows where I would be now. However, could that be the reason that I feel so off kilter? Am I the only one who is confused? How is a woman in her 40's supposed to feel and act? Would I feel like this if I had already had kids? Maybe I would feel more like an adult if that were the case. Who knows? I do know that a positive pregnancy test would be THE most amazing birthday gift.