Saturday, December 01, 2007
Tis the season...
for people to lose their minds at the mall. It is truly unbelieveable to me how people behave before the holidays. Jason and I went to the mall today, and I'm constantly amazed at the crowds. All these people in one place to buy things for people that they don't need, or won't like. Isn't the holiday season supposed to be about the birth of a saviour and oil lasting 8 days instead of one night, about kindness and love and hope??? So, there I am in the mall, wandering....thinking about the progesterone shots my Dr. just told me I'd have to give myself ("big needle," she says. As opposed to the "small needle" I'll be using the 4 weeks prior for the lupron)....wondering how on earth I'm going to jab myself everday with this "big needle" (I hate needles)....and there's this baby, just sitting in a stroller, looking blissful...and I realize how I'm going to jab myself everyday with this "big needle." And then I think that a baby is the only gift I ever want to get, for the rest of my life... just one healthy baby. No more birthday, valentine's day, anniversary, chanukkah or christmas gifts.... just one baby this year and I'm good for eternity. I'm going to send my letter to Santa. Maybe he can get the message to the folks upstairs.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Rules to Live By...
The Rules
1. The female makes the rules.
2. The rules are subject to change by the female at any time without prior notification.
3. No male can possibly know all the rules. Attempts to document the rules are not permitted.
4. If the female suspects that the male may know some or all of the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
5. The female is never wrong.
6. If the female is wrong, it is because of an egregarious misunderstanding which was the direct result of something the male did, said, did not do, or did not say.
7. If rule 6 is invoked, the male must apologize immediately for having been the cause of the misunderstanding without any clues from the female as to what he did to have caused the misunderstanding. See rule 13.
8. The female may change her mind at any time for any reason or no reason at all.
9. The male is never permitted to change his mind or under circumstances without the express written consent of the female which is given only in cases where the female wanted him to change his mind but gave no indication of that wish. See rules 6, 7, 12, and 13.
10. The female has the right to be angry or upset for any reason, real or imagined, at any time and under any circumstance which in her sole judgement she deems appropriate. The male is not to be given any sign of the root cause of the female's being angry or upset. The female may, however, give false or misleading reasons to see if the male is paying attention. See rule 13.
11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
12. Under no circumstances may the female give the male any clue or indication whether or why she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. The male is expected to read the mind of the female at all times. Failure to do so will result in punishments and penalties imposed at the sole discretion of the female.
14. The female may, at any time and for any reason, resurrect any past incident without regard to temporal or spacial distance, and modify, enlarge, embellish, of wholly reconstruct it in order to demonstrate to the male that he is now or has in the past been wrong, insensitive, pig-headed, dense, deceitful, and/or oafish.
15. The female may use her interpretation of any past occurrence to illustrate the ways in which the male has failed to accord her the consideration, respect, devotion, or material possessions, he has bestowed on other females, domestic pets or barnyard animals, sports teams, automobiles, motorcycles, boats, aircraft, or co-workers. Such illustrations are non-rebuttable.
16. If the female is experiencing PMS, Post-PMS, or Pre-PMS, the female is permitted to exhibit any manner of behaviours she wishes without regard to logical consistency or accepted norms of human behaviour.
17. Any act, deed, word, expression, statement, utterance, thought, opinion, or belief by the male is subject to the sole, subjective interpretation of the female, other external factors not- withstanding. Alibis, excuses, explanations, defences, reasons, extenuations, or rationalizations will not be entertained. Abject please for mercy and forgiveness are acceptable under some circumstances, especially when accompanied by tangible evidence of contrition.
1. The female makes the rules.
2. The rules are subject to change by the female at any time without prior notification.
3. No male can possibly know all the rules. Attempts to document the rules are not permitted.
4. If the female suspects that the male may know some or all of the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
5. The female is never wrong.
6. If the female is wrong, it is because of an egregarious misunderstanding which was the direct result of something the male did, said, did not do, or did not say.
7. If rule 6 is invoked, the male must apologize immediately for having been the cause of the misunderstanding without any clues from the female as to what he did to have caused the misunderstanding. See rule 13.
8. The female may change her mind at any time for any reason or no reason at all.
9. The male is never permitted to change his mind or under circumstances without the express written consent of the female which is given only in cases where the female wanted him to change his mind but gave no indication of that wish. See rules 6, 7, 12, and 13.
10. The female has the right to be angry or upset for any reason, real or imagined, at any time and under any circumstance which in her sole judgement she deems appropriate. The male is not to be given any sign of the root cause of the female's being angry or upset. The female may, however, give false or misleading reasons to see if the male is paying attention. See rule 13.
11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
12. Under no circumstances may the female give the male any clue or indication whether or why she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. The male is expected to read the mind of the female at all times. Failure to do so will result in punishments and penalties imposed at the sole discretion of the female.
14. The female may, at any time and for any reason, resurrect any past incident without regard to temporal or spacial distance, and modify, enlarge, embellish, of wholly reconstruct it in order to demonstrate to the male that he is now or has in the past been wrong, insensitive, pig-headed, dense, deceitful, and/or oafish.
15. The female may use her interpretation of any past occurrence to illustrate the ways in which the male has failed to accord her the consideration, respect, devotion, or material possessions, he has bestowed on other females, domestic pets or barnyard animals, sports teams, automobiles, motorcycles, boats, aircraft, or co-workers. Such illustrations are non-rebuttable.
16. If the female is experiencing PMS, Post-PMS, or Pre-PMS, the female is permitted to exhibit any manner of behaviours she wishes without regard to logical consistency or accepted norms of human behaviour.
17. Any act, deed, word, expression, statement, utterance, thought, opinion, or belief by the male is subject to the sole, subjective interpretation of the female, other external factors not- withstanding. Alibis, excuses, explanations, defences, reasons, extenuations, or rationalizations will not be entertained. Abject please for mercy and forgiveness are acceptable under some circumstances, especially when accompanied by tangible evidence of contrition.
Poked Again...
And not in a good way :) Just when I think they've tested all they can test.... I find out I need more tests. Now, getting 4 vials of blood may not seem like a big deal, but when you have non existant veins like mine, it's a pain, literally. BUT, I'd do it again in a second to get the baby we so hope for. I have 2 more Dr appointments this Friday and Jason has one more and then (hopefully) we're done with the testing. Then, I think, we start the meds. Actually I start the meds and then we pray. OK...we're in a constant state of prayer, but you get the picture. In the meantime, if I don't lose weight I'm really going to look like a weeble. You know, the ones that wobble but don't fall down, except that I'm clumsy so falling down would be an option for me. I've been off the Weight Watchers wagon for far too long and I need to get my fat butt back in shape. Jason and I have been talking about going to Italy next year and I'd like to look back at the pictures and not think about how fat I've gotten. Not to mention that my baby brother is finally getting married next May and I'm supposed to stand up for him. So, another set of pictures I'd like to look back at fondly. Anyway, that's the update for now.
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