Falling Apart

I am a complete mess and I don't even care. I finally decided to check out some fertility blogs. At first I found it depressing, but after reading through a few I felt a connection. People writing the things I'm thinking. For a minute I didn't feel alone. Basically I'm doing this all by myself. Yes, my husband is contributing financially, but he has no clue as to what I am mentally, physically and emotionally going through. I've been on the verge of tears all day and I'm tired of holding them back. We had dinner with Jason's parents tonight. They are great, but his dad starting talking about how they have been praying for us to get pregnant and I almost lost it. Jason snapped at me before dinner and I almost lost it. Driving home I almost lost it. I'm tired of trying to hold it together. I'm tired of trying to put on a happy face. I'm tired of negative pregnancy tests, failed IVF's and feeling alone.