The toll infertility takes on a marriage

is tremendous. I really think the fertility clinics should make counseling mandatory. This process has been very difficult for Jason in a very different way than it's been difficult for me. It's definately a hit to the ego for both of us. No man wants to discuss his low sperm counts and no woman wants to admit that she can't carry a child. For Jason and I that's about where the similarity ends. Jason's attitude is "I don't care where we get a child, let's just get one." The process is of little condequence. I'm the one who has to actually live the process. I'm the one calling adoption agencies, investigating international adoption, jamming needles into myself daily and pumping myself full of hormones trying to conceive. I think Jason would make a great father and I think he does want a child, but he would like to avoid the process as much as possible. Unfortunately this makes it very difficult for me because I then feel like I'm doing this by myself. Yes, financially he's invested as much as I have and he's gone to a couple of appointments (difficult with him working out of town) and was there for the first transfer, but I'm pretty much on my own with this. He's not really up for in depth conversations about what's going on. He wants a summary of what's going on and then we're on to the next topic. I know it's hard to be married to a woman who has been on an emotional rollercoaster for the past 2 1/2 years but it's not been easy for me to be married to a man who appears to be unable to give me some emotional support when I need it most. I'm sure if you ask Jason his perspective is completely different than mine and somewhere in between lies the truth. When I look back at our wedding pictures I think about how I assumed that at this point in our marriage we would have two kids and might be discussing a third, and wish that I could go back and feel that hopeful again.